Being a mom has absolutely taken me by surprise. I was never the girl who dreamt about my wedding or babies or having a home with a white picket fence. The idea of raising a family was something I knew I would do, but it was not one of my goals, it was what I'd do in between them. And then I met Richie pretty young, and things moved fast, we moved in, got married, and we decided to get pregnant, and then a baby came by the age of 26.
And now I can't imagine my life any other way.
I truly love being a mom. It is rewarding in a way nothing else in my life has ever been. The whole thing, surprisingly, came really naturally to me. Before Avital I had little to no experience with babies or children. In college I bartended, not babysat! That being said, being a mom is not easy! It is a long day's work every single day, day in, day out.
But still, I love mommying. I really do. It is exhausting work, but what better to dedicate my energies to?!?
My biggest struggle has been maintaining my Eveness within my Mommyness. Retaining your sense of self is really really difficult. You are mommy all the time, but who you were before that was a really different person and the entire loss of that person is dangerous for your personal wellbeing, but easy to fall into.
I do my best to balance, but at the end of the day, when Avital is running around the house like a crazy person (i.e. doom is pending), dinner's been rushed, Avi's melting down at the table, bathtime is yet to happen, we need to do a bottle and bedtime, it's really difficult to find time to commit to being me.
I mean, look at this face, is that not the face of a crazy lady?!?
This blog, while it is another thing for me to commit time and energy to, has been amazingly rewarding. It's been about a month of writing and I'm loving every second of it. Having something all my own and being able to share it is pretty special. So thank you to all of you who are out there, listening, understanding, loving!