On the third day of our trip to Cuba, I woke up and went to the bathroom to brush up and pee (my usual routine) and realized that I was bleeding! At first I kinda just froze...didn't know what to do. It was both terrifying and confusing. I was only 5 and a half weeks pregnant. Had a concocted this whole pregnancy? Was this my period? No, I had taken more than one home pregnancy test that claimed to be positive. I had symptoms of pregnancy for sure. Was I miscarrying? Losing the baby? Was it not a viable pregnancy? Was this a product of overdoing it with travel and change of diet (poor diet I should say, Cuba is seriously lacking in fresh fruits and vegetables...a product of a failing communist society, but that's a whole nother conversation). Did I carry too much? Schlep too much? Did I bring this on?!?
I left Richie and Avi in bed and ran up to my parents' room with a horrified look and a million questions. We called Risa and Long Story Short: there was no way of knowing if this was miscarriage, implantation bleeding, or what Risa like to call a Wonderfully Juicy Cervix (That's Risa for you;)). She put me on bedrest (legs up) and was warned not to pick anything up (especially Avi). So, I laid in bed for two straight days in a mediocre hotel in a hundred million degree weather (so the air conditioning could only putter so...). I bled for two and a half days before it stopped. I didn't have any cramping or back pain or clotting (signs of miscarriage), but some people miscarry without those symptoms.
Here's where I went wrong: I didn't tell Risa we were traveling before we left! Seriously a huge mistake. I remembered traveling with my family early in my family to Colorado when I was pregnant with Avital and figured I'd be fine as long as I got up enough through the flight, hydrated, relaxed, etc. What I had forgotten is that I'd had my bloodwork done before I left that time. Since I didn't get my bloodwork done this time (and on top of that didn't have my medical records with me) Risa had no way of knowing what could be going wrong with me. I was so upset and confused and disappointed!
But, and there's always a but, so is life, right?!? There are always bumps in the road, unexpected surprises, and tests along the way. They are there to teach us and make us stronger. I'm doing my best to remember that:
1. All things happen for a reason.
2. Patience is a virtue.
3. And I have to do my best to roll with the punches!
At this point I still don't know if this pregnancy is a viable one. I certainly still feel like I've run a marathon before I even woke up every morning along with other silly things like being dizzy nearly every time I stand, but there's no way of knowing what's going on inside my body (a little scary). I'm treating myself as good as I can and trying to stay healthy and calm and I'll have more information next week.
Meanwhile, I'm sharing this with all of you because I believe that these things should be more openly spoken about. Too often I hear about friends and family who had complications with their pregnancies that I never knew about. Women keep these things in because it's too scary or taboo or hard to talk about. But I try to remember that sharing not only helps me, but helps others. It builds support and strengthens relationships.
If any of you have stories you'd like to share or advice for me or others, I'd love to hear! Seriously! Leave a comment here or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let's start the conversation, be here to help each other, and teach each other. Whenever you're ready:)